The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
The Midnight Writer

10 Variations of Popular Candies You Probably Missed
People love candy: The average American spends $84 on and consumes about 23.9 pounds of the sweet stuff each year. With all that money and attention, you'd think it would be hard for a candy product to fail. Not true. Many candy products come and go without much notice. Here are 10 variations of popular candies that many people don't realize ever existed.

Comedian Mike Lawrence Proves Assembling a Toy Car is Actually Child’s Play
Comics just keep dropping by our office. We find things for them to do. We were so close to making one guy do some filing. Lucky for him we don't have files.

Can’t Relate to Teens? Introducing Twerking for Moms
Are you a mom? Do you have a teen daughter you just don't understand?

Interactive Map Shows Just What Type of Smut Your State Searches For the Most
You can learn a lot about a person based on 1) where they live and 2) their internet history. Today I learned the US is filled with fans of creampies and not the kind made by Hostess.

Erin Andrews & Charissa Thompson of Fox Sports 1 Are Our First Ever ‘Double Celeb Crushes’
In case you're unaware, or don't care about sports, Fox Sport 1 launched last week.

If ‘The Godfather’ Were Rebooted, Who Would Play Each Role?
'The Godfather' should never be touched. We're referring to both the fictional character and the entire movie franchise. It can never be improved upon (fine, the third movie needs a little work) and remains one of the greatest treasures in cinema.

21 Things That Ruined Your Summer Vacation As a Kid
Summer vacation is the greatest time in a kid's life. No school. No bullies. No teachers. No worries.

Stolen ’64 Chevy From ‘Pulp Fiction’ Recovered and Returned in Mint Condition
The cherry red 1964 Chevy made famous in the 1994 classic 'Pulp Fiction' is coming home to owner Quentin Tarantino. The ride was stolen from outside Tarantino's house back in 1995 and was recovered last week after the arrest of a suspected classic car thief.
![It’s Hard to Write a ‘Dear Jane’ Letter When Your Hand is Shaking in Fear [Half a Man]](http://townsquare.media/site/390/files/2013/03/Woman-With-Turtleneck.jpg?w=980&q=75)
It’s Hard to Write a ‘Dear Jane’ Letter When Your Hand is Shaking in Fear [Half a Man]
Polly was crazy. I wasn’t positive of this until my father, never one to mince words or use words to speak unkindly about another person, called to say, “Son, I think Polly is crazy.”

Let’s Celebrate 50 Years of Bret Michaels With Some Embarrassingly Awesome Photos
Bret Michaels, the former leader of Poison, winner of 'Celebrity Apprentice' and driving force behind all those awesome seasons of 'Rock of Love' turns 50 years old today.

7 Things You Shouldn’t Do If You Meet a Leprechaun on St. Patrick’s Day
Leprechauns, the faires of Irish folklore (no disrespect) are popular symbols this time of year. With St. Patrick's Day on the horizon, the little men with their hidden coins, pots of gold and ginger muttonchops are running rampant through the streets spreading their magical mischief...

Joe Flacco Used to Laugh at Some of Ray Lewis’ Speeches
After signing an enormous deal to return to the Baltimore Ravens, Super Bowl MVP Joe Flacco is probably feeling pretty good about himself. He's feeling so good he's being a little more forthcoming with his opinions about a myriad of topics -- one being former teammate Ray Lewis.