Snooki’s Baby Is Here, Still Sober
Snooki is finally ready to show her baby to the world, and it is just slightly bigger than her enormous false lashes. Lorenzo and his mom appear on the cover of People magazine, and he is tiny and cute and appropriately tiny for a baby. (Though his hair is somewhat smaller than expected.)
Happy ‘Stop Alec Baldwin Day’!
Looking for a good cause to make up for all that Labor Day weekend debauchery? Well, today is StopAlec Baldwin Day! And it’s just the kind of lazy do-goodery that anybody can get behind — you don’t have to rake any leaves or anything! Intrigued? We’ll tell you more.
World’s Largest Cheeseburger Is Actually Pretty Disgusting
We’re angry. Angry that somebody would take the time to make a cheeseburger so gigantic that it’s actually kind of disgusting, and not even invite us over to have some of it. Well, Black Bear Casino, you can guess where we WON’T be going for vacation this year.
The Worst Commercials Starring the ‘Jersey Shore’ Cast
After five painfully long seasons, ‘Jersey Shore‘ will begin its sixth and final season this fall. Maybe it’s because Snooki had a baby and things are starting to get real. Maybe it’s because the ratings have started dropping and show no signs of stopping. Or maybe it’s because this show is terrible. Regardless, we thought we’d pay tribute by reminding you of some of the terrible commercials the s
Is a Twitter Feud Brewing Between Ann Romney and ‘Modern Family’?
Mitt Romney’s loving wife Ann Romney definitely has experience in the field of motherhood. At the GOP Convention, she even said that “It’s the moms of this nation – single, married, widowed – who really hold this country together.” Maybe it’s this insider’s knowledge into the modern family that makes her appreciate the TV show ‘Modern Family’ so much.
Hero Dad Wears Skirts to Support His Skirt-Wearing Son
This really takes being a supportive dad to a whole new level — a father in Germany started wearing skirts so that his son would feel comfortable doing it to in front of classmates after moving to a new town. Bravo, sir.
Olympian Aly Raisman Turns Down Marriage Proposal, Keeps the Ring (Pop)
If you’re planning to win the hand of an Olympic gymnast who doesn’t even know you, it’s going to take a little bit more than some candy, we just learned. A fan got down on one knee (good start) and pulled out a Ring Pop (aaaand there it goes) before asking Aly Raisman if she would marry him. Mighty presumptuous of this guy, although, to be fair, she did take the candy.
Asking for Directions Left Beanie Baby Billionaire Tipping $20,000
Try not to get too depressed that the Beanie Baby guy is a billionaire — at least he’s using his money for good, rather than evil. Ty Warner recently gave a woman who was trying to raise money for a medical procedure $20,000 for giving him directions.
Dramatic News Reporter Adds Some Much-Needed Excitement to Bus Crash Story
Tired of regular, boring, emotionally unavailable news? Well then, this is the video for you because this melodramatic news reporter is very involved with his work. He’s emotional. He’s gesturing wildly. He’s smacking his notepad for emphasis. You really get the sense that it’s not every day a bus crashes into a house in Montgomery County, Maryland. And when one does, it is a BIG deal.
Barack Obama vs. Mitt Romney In the Smartphone Showdown Game of the Year
It’s not everyday that you get to see Mitt Romney smacked in the face with a hot dog or President Obama trounced with a balloon sword… Until now. Thanks to a new, free phone game called Vote!!!, you can see it every day. It might seem like they’ve lost sight of the point of democratic elections by making the two presidential candidates go toe-to-toe, but the folks at Epic Games could actually be o
Quadruple Amputee Swims Every Intercontinental Strait, Makes History
Well, we were feeling pretty proud of ourselves for finally looking up that Couch to 5k thing, but it’s going to take a little more than that to impress Phillippe Croizon. The quadruple amputee has made history by swimming intercontinental straits linking Oceania, Asia, Europe, America and Africa.
‘Chillax’ Named One of the Most Important Words in English Language
In other depressing news, an Honorary Professor of Linguistics has gone ahead and put “chillax” on the list of the 100 words that have helped define the English language throughout history. Lord help us all, we thought people only said it as a joke to make fun of the people who actually say it (who don’t actually exist, right?).